."No pleassure, no expressions just an illusion of what should of but wasnt".

Chapter 6 - One word

I got home, tired. This was a very stressful day. We had tons of assignment to do, I had to get started. I got to the computer and started researching. You don't think I'm that serious right? Of course, I opened my facebook account. You can call it multi-tasking. I typed in "speeches" on the Google search bar and tons of links appeared. Ah. The beauty of the internet. I clicked on the very first link. While waiting, I logged in my fb account and checked my notifications. There were photo tags and comments. I updated my status with "crazy day!" and then checked who was online. There were strangers I just added, my friends and.. Jack He was online again. I went back to my assignment, here we again. Concentrate! I resisted the temptation to talk to him. I read the lines, actually scanned; but I couldn't help it. Jack Jack Jack, this was torture to my head and heart. I just copy and pasted the article to MS word without even bothering to actually read it. I went back to facebook; and saw that the chat box was open with his name. I finally gave-up and typed - in: what's the assignment in english again? :)". With high hopes, I waited for a reply. Surely he wasn't that of a snob to help people in need. Jack was a nice guy; sweet and charming. Stop it! Your making a fool of yourself!. I sighed and got back to Google. I slipped in my fb for a second. My heart sped, I could almost hear it beat. almost. He replied. It's like I hit the jackpot. "speeches" One word and it made a difference. Like I was floating on clouds, smelling fresh roses and feeling his warm touch. Just one word and it made me feel this way. But what made me hurt was I knew that to him it was nothing. To him it was like answering the question of an acquaintance, something that was no importance. I felt a strong sting in my heart. No matter how I try, there's always a downside to this roller coaster of love we had; or at least I had for him. I replied a short "ty" to him; and logged out. I keep on saying to myself to move - on, find someone better, someone worth my time and love. My heart won't listen to my mind, this was the hardest thing. I gave up and went back to homework. Time to study hard.